Getting a job involves more than technical expertise, skills, and talent. In Erin McGoff’s 2026 book, “The Secret Language of Work: Hyper-Helpful Scripts for Every Situation,” she notes the importance of knowing work vernacular and using it to advance one’s career.
The problem isn’t with ability, intelligence, motivation or drive, the book says. “It’s that one … knows the secret language of work, a way of communicating that is used by successful, high-performing people to get what they want.”
The book highlights the lingo of this “secret language,” stressing it is essential at every stage in one’s career journey.
Achievement via words
McGoff is adamant that being unconditionally enthusiastic and extremely willing to please usually lands one a job they hate, with few or no career prospects. The mistake, she says, is believing the boss will recognize hard work and reward the employee with more consequential tasks without the employee speaking out.
The book says many people fall into that trap, especially those at the start of their careers, as they don’t want to “offend anyone by complaining about the work assigned.”
Before speaking up, each employee needs to ask: Do I know what I want? “No? Then get clear on what you want,” McGoff says.
At that point, words selected to convey one’s career ambitions need to be “professional” and “authentic,” as they are “incredibly powerful,” she stresses. Career advancement with the right verbal communication starts slowly, but accelerates exponentially over time, much like a learning curve.
Strengthening and accelerating such a career requires multiple “work personas” that change over time based on “the room you’re in” and “the goals you have,” she writes. Not having the right personas means a boss may appreciate the work, but be hesitant to offer a promotion or have the employee interact with others.
Changing language starts with “mindset,” McGoff notes. The first part is self-awareness and finding words to reflect who you are and what you want. Second is confidence: “Saying the right words is one thing. Saying them from a place of confidence is another.”
Building that mindset requires listening to articulate people, recording yourself to hear how you sound, structuring thoughts so others will accept new ideas, becoming a good listener, and not overemphasizing your views.
Word pitfall
Choosing words carefully helps avoid critical pitfalls. For example, mistaking “me problems” for “you problems,” McGoff says. If the problem is a “you” problem, the response has to be “I have a lot on my plate right now, but I’ll let you know if that changes,” McGoff advises, not unconditionally agreeing to solve it to gain favor with superiors.
Another pitfall is “not knowing what kind of [verbal] conversation you’re in,” the book says. They can be “factual connection” conversations, such as “two coworkers discussing the timeline of an upcoming project.” Another type is “factual change” conversations, where “a manager is giving feedback to an employee.”
There also are “emotional connections,” where “two coworkers are talking about the stress of their workload,” and “emotional change,” where “a friend is offering advice to another who’s feeling stuck in a career.”
The third verbal pitfall is “using the wrong communication style.” Unfavorable approaches include “passive communication” to avoid conflict; “passive-aggressive” communication, “when someone expresses themselves indirectly”; and “aggressive communication,” where people “express themselves with no concern for how it might impact the other person.”
The best approach is “assertive” communication, where “someone expresses themselves in a strategic manner, prioritizing their desired outcome over their emotions … 99% of the time, assertive communication is the way to go,” McGoff says.
The fourth pitfall is “underusing or overusing softeners and fillers,” she says. One common “overuse” case is apologizing when delivering bad news if it’s not your fault. An “underuse” case is to deliver the facts with as few words as possible. McGoff recommends asking a rhetorical question or expressing surprise before delivering bad news.
When asking a question, she says, use “how” or “what” to signal willingness to listen to others’ views, perspectives, or expertise before offering feedback. She warns against using “why,” as it usually comes across as undermining the person being questioned.
For the same reasons, replace “but” with “and,” says McGoff. For example, “I can see that you’ve been working hard this year, and there are a few areas where I’d like to see improvement,” instead of “I can see that you’ve been working hard this year, but there are a few areas where I’d like to see improvement.”
Third, one should “replace closed-ended questions with open-ended questions,” says McGoff. “Closed questions basically allow for only one of two answers: yes or no. Open-ended questions [prompt] the other party to elaborate.”
Lastly, McGoff recommends “replacing negative language with positive language” and “backward-facing language with forward-facing language.”
Body language
Along with verbal communication, McGoff stresses the importance of body language. The first rule is to “make eye contact, but not too much. Eye contact communicates a ton about what you’re thinking and feeling and whether or not you’re even paying attention.”
However, “it’s important to strike the right balance. When you avoid eye contact, it may seem like you’re distracted, disinterested, or rude. On the other hand, staring intently into a colleague’s eyes might lead them to report you to HR.”
Secondly, “use open gestures,” as “people … love seeing you illustrate what you are talking about.” While offering these gestures, it is important to “smile more,” McGoff says. It is “an important way for you to communicate your helpful and positive attitude.”
Lastly, “be a mirror” for those you deal with. “Humans naturally mimic the body language of the people they are speaking to,” she says. “When we mirror someone, they subconsciously assume that we have a lot in common. This makes them like us more because we’re naturally drawn to those who are similar to us.”
Writing
Writing is also crucial to professional communication. “A huge percentage of your workplace communications won’t be spoken in person, on the phone or even over Zoom – it will be written,” notes McGoff.
Recent technological developments are changing the rules of written communication. “Just a few years ago, most written workplace communication took place over email, and most of the time it was pretty formal in tone,” McGoff says. “Now, many workplaces are embracing messaging services like Slack, Teams, Google Chat or even texting, and the tone of these messages is generally much more casual.”
Workplace culture also can impact written communication. “Not all workplaces are created equal, and culture around written communication at work can vary widely based on your industry and geography. It can be hard to know whether to hit someone up at work over [WhatsApp], text, or email, because different workplaces and teams have their own cultures and preferences.
“You may prefer to talk things through and avoid putting anything in writing altogether, but your company might use specific software to track every detail of a project,” the book says. “Or you may prefer to communicate only via your work email, but your team constantly communicates” on a commercial app.
The choice of written communication channels also dictates how one should write. “If they are texting each other, don’t write long-winded emails signed ‘most sincerely yours.’” To avoid such awkwardness, “Ask when you’re new to a job; there’s no harm.”
When and how
Knowing what written communication aims to achieve is vital. “As a general rule, written communication at work is for giving or asking for information. That’s it. Don’t try to brainstorm, engage in a debate or have a discussion in writing,” the book says. “A message shorter than two sentences can be a direct message (like Slack or Teams). A message that’s two to 10 sentences long should probably be an email. Anything longer than 10 sentences should be a verbal conversation.”
When writing more than two sentences, one needs to consider several points. The first is “rereading … before sending it to make sure you got all the little things right,” McGoff suggests. That includes ensuring names and grammar are correct, confirming the intended recipient list, and checking that hyperlinks work correctly.
Second, you need to send well-written emails. “They might feel time-consuming, but people appreciate them, and it adds up,” she says. Such emails need to have “clear subject lines.” Think, “Response needed: approve budget” rather than “I have a quick question.”
Also, “keep it concise,” says McGoff. “In general, try cutting the length of your emails in half.” With that, one must state important facts first, then add more details, context, or caveats below, she noted. Lastly, “establish your tone early” and make sure it’s appropriate for the reader and doesn’t change halfway through.
The book outlines several specific examples, including how to write a pre-interview email, a follow-up email and a check-in email, and how to respond to a rejection email.
Putting into practice
The book says speech, body language and written communications are used in “networking without cringing.” “If you want to have a successful career, land a job you love, make a lot of money, and feel fulfilled, you need to learn the skill [and] art of talking to other people.”
It also helps with “negotiating without being awkward,” which can be vital for getting desired results, says McGoff. Additionally, these communication approaches help employees “advocate for [themselves] without being a jerk. Steering your career in the direction you want it to go is your top priority. No one is going to do this for you.”
Verbal, body language, and written communication skills also help when “dealing with sticky situations at work, more notably when a manager is involved,” the book notes. They also help seta boundaries and expectations and identify “the hidden etiquette of interviews.”
Furthermore, these three skills can help one “quit a job gracefully,” says McGoff. “It’s the last impression that truly sticks with people.”
Having a “graceful” exit is tricky, as “quitting can feel surprisingly stressful and emotional. Even if it’s something you want to do, leaving a job can come with a lot of mixed emotions.”
Keeping the resignation process emotionally subdued (quitting strategically) means “positive word of mouth” to your future employers, McGoff stresses.
Getting verbal, body language, and written communications wrong is fine. The priority is to “keep your eyes glued on that desired outcome. Your words are yours to wield. They’re your superpower, and no one can take them from you.”
